Hold me
by hollyhocks09
Summary: When Harry was younger, he thought it was because his father was exactly the sort of man that Harry wanted to grow up to be. Now, aged 16, he knew better. He didn't want to be his dad, he just wanted his dad.
1. Chapter 1

_So yeah, warning, incest. Which is disgusting and never okay in real life, but sometimes works in fiction. Warning, I only wrote this because I read another one I liked, so don't blame me if it gets you stared on a really bad pairing….._

When Harry was younger, he thought it was because his father was exactly the sort of man that Harry wanted to grow up to be.

Now, aged 16, he knew better. He didn't want to be his dad, he just wanted his dad.

He was really handsome, for one thing, really handsome, muggles and witches alike swooned over him. And he was a total gentleman about it, opened doors for people, pulled out Harry's chair at the table... And he sang like frank Sinatra. God, Harry thought, there was just something about a man that could sing….he also smelled really manly, like authority. Which turned Harry on a lot.

And yeah he knew it was his dad, but that didn't stop him from shamelessly rutting into his hand, thinking about how great they would be together.

Harry never really thought they would get together of course, his dad was a true gryff, not like Harry, who secretly could have been a slytherin. His dad had principles, and honour, his dad had a lot of women eating out of his hand, even though, to Harry's knowledge, he hadn't dated anyone since Lilly died.

His dad was never going to look at him that way, apart from it being immoral and Harry's dad being above such things (in Harry's opinion) Harry just wasn't good looking enough. James was built like Hercules, and though Harry was magically very powerful, perhaps even more than his dad, he didn't look it.

Harry liked to look as good as possible when his dad got home from work. He also liked to have the house looking warm and friendly, perhaps with some music and a nice drink waiting for him.

He had spent his whole life up until now saving the world, and now, he just wanted to be a house wife.

Harry heard the door open and raced out of the kitchen to the front hall, giving his dad a hug when he got home from work. He had done this ever since he was a little kid and had no intention of stopping.

James happily hugged back, even though he thought it was a little bit odd to be honest. It was the sort of thing a five year old would do, maybe an eleven year old, and Harry had a really hard time of it when he was fifteen, but the war was over now and he was sixteen…

Somewhere in the back of his head, James believed that this was actually a developmental problem, and Harry should get….professional help. But it was the only time he allowed himself to touch his son and he couldn't deny himself that as well. James was markedly taller than Harry and looked over his sons shoulder, letting his eyes roam over Harry's legs, his tight little bum…today Harry was wearing a red t-shirt, blue shorts, and the red strappy high heals that James just adored. He couldn't help but think about his son walking around wearing nothing but them.

And with that thought, James broke away from the hug, he was always the first to do that, but he couldn't have Harry feel the hard on that James now sported.

"dinner will be ready in about five okay dad?"

"cant wait." James said as Harry went back to the kitchen and James sat down to his drink in the living room.

James thought Harry was pretty damn perfect too. He was so…sweet, supple…. James would happily spend the rest of his life like this, working in a high powered job at the ministry, coming home to find Harry looking oh so sexy, the house clean, food cooking…to be honest lilly hadn't been this good of a wife.

James was traditional, he liked that Harry was the perfect house wife. He loved that he had created Harry, moulded him from the first. Trained him, in a way. It seemed almost unfair that someone else was eventually going to take Harry away from him. But then, Harry was his in so many ways, even though he wasn't sexually. James found this thought very comforting.

Harry had a knack of somehow making James simulationsly feel like a king and like a dirty pervert. There's no way Harry would act like this if he knew. No way he would love him, respect him, even want to be in the same room with him.

Harry was just…his babe. So cute, with pouty lips and wide eyes that made him look so vunrable. James winced. He had been really trying not to admit that to himself. It was one thing to want his son sexually, to really want Harry to submit to him, was another. He would have been more okay with it, if his desire was to date Harry on an even playing field, and not to dominate him. But he did want to be at least a little dominating. He wanted to be in that ass, he wanted to give it a little bit of a spanking, (only in playfulness and only if harry were okay with ti, he would never hurt Harry). Harry was his most treasured possession.

Before he knew it, Harry was calling that dinner was ready and boy did it smell great.

James walked into the room just as Harry was bending down to get the dinner out of the over. His shorts rode up just the tiniest extra bit, and god was that sight heavenly. The bottom of his cheeks just slipped out of his shorts and James wanted nothing more than to go over there and squeeze.

Harry just had the perfect legs, the perfect ass, the perfect body really…

Harry smirked. He was looking over his shoulder, and could plainly see what James was thinking about. He felt a fire in his chest. He hadn't been wrong to think those things, to feel it, cuzz his daddy felt it too. He knew he did.

After a moment he asked; "dad?" James' head snapped up. "What?" he asked. "lost in thought? Whatcha thinking about Daddy?" All the blood ran out of his face and he stammered "n-nothing. Just thinking how good it smells." "Can you help me get it out?" his son asked. "its kinda heavy."

"sure." James said. Jesus Christ, had he really gotton away with it? He would have to be so carful in future, there was no way Harry wasn't suspicious after seeing that. His knees were wobbly, but he made his way over and got the food out, praying that his son was too naive to know what had happened. He did love Harry as a son, as a father should, he just…loved him as a lover too.

They sat down to dinner and Harry happily served him as always, before taking his own seat and asking cheerfully about James' day. Harry seemed to be in an incredibly good mood, but when James asked why Harry just said; "Just having a good day. Happy to see you."

But by the end of the meal, Harry's confidence had slipped a little. What if he were wrong? What if James really were just lost in thought in an unfortunate position? If he was, and he did something about it, it could ruin everything. But then Harry's mouth watered thinking about his father's strong arms and his smell, and how he would feel on top of Harry. Was he really willing to risk it all? He loved his dad, in all ways. He let out a mewl of frustration.

"Are you allright Harry?" his dad asked. "you were in a great mood when I got home, what's up?" James asked.

"Nothing" Harry assured him. And then he smiled. "just thinking what the chuddly cannons chances are this year."

And so they started talking quiddich, like any normal father and son, and for the moment sexual tension was gone and they just enjoyed each other's company.

After dinner, James offered to do the dishes, like always, and like always Harry refused, telling him to go and relax.

And then Harry had an idea. When his father had left the room, he put some music on. Frank Sinatra, his dad's favourite. He could hear James coming back, probably to congratulate Harry on his music taste. But he didn't get that far. James stood in the hall way leading into the kitchen watching his son dance. Harry swayed back and forth to the music, his hips moving back and forth mesmerising James. Thankfully Harry was facing the other direction, doing the dishes which somehow made it all the sexier.

But unluckily for James, or luckily depending who you asked, there was a mirror above the sink, and Harry was looking straight at him. He smirked and started to get more into it, waving his shoulders and bending his knees, sticking his hips out, a silent invitation.

James could not take his eyes off of his son, he braced himself against the wall and let his eyes drink in the sight. But all too soon the song ended and Harry turned the music off entirely, but instead of approaching him like Harry hoped he would, James just slunk away. Fuck. All Harry knew was he had been torturing himself for years over this, but if his dad wanted it too, maybe it could work. And if his dad did feel the same way, he must be going out of his mind. And Harry didn't want that for his dad, he loved him.

So, Harry took a deep breath and just decided to go for it, to hell with the consequences. He put the music back on and walked into the living room, his heels clacking on the floor. He stood right in front of James, who was sitting back on the couch.

"Want to dance, dad?" the real answer was; Fuck yes, more than anything. But James couldn't really say that. And anyways, his boy was still so innocent in so many ways…. And this was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

"I… think I'll sit this one out son."

"oh I didn't mean you had to get up." Harry slipped on to his father's lap, almost innocent, but for a smirk on his lips. He moved his hips slowly, teasingly, feeling his father's hard on under his bum. James let out a low, delicious moan. His eyes fluttered shut and Harry leaned back in to James' chest, feeling smug and victorious, feeling fire thought his whole body.

But then. "Harry you have to stop." "but why?" Harry pouted, he was so close. "this…it's wrong. I'm sorry if you thought I..." James licked his lips, holding in a moan. "was encouraging you. But we can't."

"but dad, we both want it besides, I know you liked it when I was dancing a few minutes ago." Harry said proudly, hips still moving.

"There's a difference between looking and touching Harry. Looking is bad enough, its…vile, wrong and disgusting. But…oh for gods sake I'm your father, get up."

"dad-"

"Harry. Stop. Now." Their was a slight pause, both of them still and silent, waiting for who was going to give in first. Well, Harry of course.

"All right dad, but I think I'm going to have an early night. You're welcome to join me if you like."

"good night Harry." James said, not looking at him. Harry sighed. "Night dad."

The next morning, James dreaded come down stairs, but Harry was acting perfectly happily, as if yesterday had never happened.

But James just couldn't. All though out work that day he was irritable, wondering what the hell he should do. He thought about sending Harry to live with the weasily's until Hogwarts started again, but just couldn't do that. He wanted to take care of his baby, and his baby might just want that too…

But god damit this was so fucking wrong, he was the parent, ergo he was the stronger one. At least he should be.

But harry had one strength James didn't have; patience. James knew he couldn't just ignore this or Harry would tease him into it somehow.

And Harry was so beautifull. So wonderful. But then a thought struck him, a dangerous one. He had brought Harry up so well, he was near perfect. Just think how well James could train him sexually. He would be totally perfect.

By the time James got back from work, he had teased himself almost to insanity. So when Harry came up to hug him, James almost lost it.

"Harry…" he breathed. " I don't want to hurt you. "Oh dad," he said, pulling away slightly and cupping James' face in his hands. "you could never hurt me, you never have and I know you never will."

James liked his lips, breathing heavily. "Harry you might think you want this now, but in a few years you wont. You'll hate me."

"oh dad, no I wont. I never could. And if in a few years, I do regret this, which I promise I wont, I will remember who started it. Dad I've wanted this for so long, for years, in fact I have never really wanted anyone else. And I felt so bad, so disgusted, until last night when I knew you felt the same."

"Harry…" James looked down at him. So beautiful. "this is wrong." He said, his eyes saying something else. Hesitantly, Harry stood on his tiptoes and kissed him. "But it feels so right."

James let out a growl. Roughly, he grasped the back of Harry's head and pushed their lips together again, the other hand going straight to Harry's arse, in-between his cheeks and stroked his hole though his boxers. Harry moaned deliciously.

James suddenly grabbed his son by the hips, and picked him up, wrapping his sons legs around his hips, the way James used to carry him, when he was 6 or so.

James stumbled up the stairs holding him like this, each step causing more and friction between their bodies. James threw him on to the bed and claimed him.

_Might write one more chapter of pure smut if people like it enough….and by that I mean reveiw_


	2. Chapter 2

Okay so I want to thank you guys so much for your reviews. Normally I just like them, but I really need them with this pairing, because I feel so uncomfortable with it. I really can't thank you enough, I was pretty scared to put this out there at first. So, here it goes. And by the way, I blushed writing this….

James lay on the bed with Harry and took his son's virginity. Harry writhed and moaned under him, and James thrust in to his son, finally coming in the ass his own genetics had once created.

After woods, James rolled off of Harry, turning to face the wall, unable to look at what he had done.

"that was perfect." Harry said, spooning up to him. "Harry…I'm so sorry." James finally said. "dad, don't, please." James felt Harry rest his head on his back, clearing wanting to be held, but for once James couldn't give his son what he wanted. "Harry, we need to forget about this, okay?" James insisted, now that his arousal was gone, guilt had come in its place.

"I cant, I wont." Harry said. "please…" James insisted, jerking away from Harry slightly. Harry sighed and got up.

"apart from anything else dad, any damage that might have been done, has now already happened. So we might as well enjoy it." Harry knew exactly how to manipulate his father when he wanted too, he knew that even if he had to wait, it would happen eventually.

Over the next few days, Harry teased his father ruthlessly. He made no effort to hide the fact that he had to walk funny, or that he had an erection when he hugged James, or that he knew that James was always watching….

He didn't have to wait too long.

Only until the next weekend in fact. Harry had just come back from practicing quiddich with the Weasly's. He was caked in mud and badly needed a shower. But on second thought a bath was what he wanted, with warm water and bubbles and perhaps some candles.

He, of course left the door open, a silent invitation that they both understood. It didn't take long for James to walk by, again thinking that Harry wasn't aware of his presence and again, Harry saw him in the mirror above the sink.

He smirked and raised one of his legs out of the water, rubbing his lemon scented scrub on it, slowly massaging it in to his skin. He took his time with it, skin smooth and glistening, knowing how the light shone off of it, knowing that his dad was looking. He slowly lowered it back into the water, before raising his hips and stroking his erection.

Oh yes he liked his, putting on shows for daddy, remembering how, when he was five or so, he used to like putting on puppet shows and his dad would pretend they were amazing.

His dad wasn't pretending now. He thought it was the best thing he had ever seen.

Harry stroked himself a little faster and let out a whisper of; "daddy." He arched his hips higher and said louder; "harder dad. Oh please…" He almost let out a giggle, he never said those things when he wanked, not really, but this was a performance.

But then; "you know I'm here don't you?" His father accused. Harry turned around, an impish grin on his face, before nodding cutely.

James rolled his eyes, looking annoyed. Harry's face fell. His erection did not. "get out of the bath Harry." James said feeling sick at his arousal. But then Harry slowly stood up, body dripping with water, and prick straining for attention.

Then, James felt sick _with_ arousal.

He picked up a towel, and walked over to Harry, first, running it though his hair, making water spray everywhere, Harry used to think it was so funny when James did that. But then James ran the towel over Harry's chest, the towel grazed his nipples and he shivered.

James noted that he was going to have to get softer towel for his angel.

He dried Harry's hips, down one leg, then up the other, finally coming up to Harry's crotch, which he almost sweetly dried off. "turn around." He said, voice scratchy.

Harry happily did so, and again James started almost innocently with his back. He slowly bought the towel down to Harry's bum. He lovingly dried that too, before letting the towel fall to the floor and kissing down the back of Harry's neck.

"Harry...you sure you want this? I'm only going to ask one more time." "thank god." Harry muttered. "yes dad, I'm sure." James's mouth watered and he reverently ran his hands over Harry's hips. "do you like calling me that?" he asked. "I love it." Harry said, rocking his hip's in to James.

"good." James replied, his voice deep and thick. "now…I think it's your bed time."

"but im not tired daddy." Harry mocked, turning around and undoing the buttons on his fathers shirt. God he had a fine chest, hairy, like a man's should be, with rock hard muscles. Nothing like Harry's rake thin and pale one.

James bent his head down and kissed him, prying open Harry's lips with his tongue and invading his mouth. Harry moaned and unconsciously spread his legs.

James roughly pinched Harry's nipple, and loved the sound of arousal, pain and surprise that came out of him. Harry pushed James's top to the floor and soon his belt followed. James grabbed Harry by the ass, and pushed Harry against him, making his son rut against him. The rough fabric of James's jeans nearly pushed Harry over the edge and clung on to his father, saying; "I'm so close."

"my sweet baby." James moaned back. He trailed kisses down Harry's neck before turning him around and bending him over the sink. James ripped off the rest of his clothing and slowly prepared Harry, their eyes locking in the mirror. Finally, James arranged himself at Harry's entrance and pushed in. He thrust harder and harder and Harry almost couldn't stand it, his bowed his head under the pleasure. But; "keep your head up." His father breathlessly ordered, and harry couldn't stop himself, he came all over the sink, and James soon followed, a last "fuck" dripping from his lips.

S_o, should I write more? If you think so, please tell me. Some of you asked for light s/m themes but I felt they just didn't work in this one ….anyway thanks so much for the support._


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, so yeah, plot wise I have no idea where this is going but SMUT. Also please keep reviewing because that's the only way I can get the guts to keep writing this. _

Harry felt on top of the world.

He snuggled up to his dad in bed, their bare legs intertwined, Harry safely enclosed in his father's strong arms.

But he sighed when he did a quick temprus charm.

"Dad wake up." He whispered in to his ear. " you need to get up for work." His father just groaned and buried his head under the covers. Harry giggled. "daddy!" James pinned Harry down and tried his best to go back to sleep.

Harry grinned and looked at his father; they had only been doing this for a few days, but god he couldn't get enough of it. It was wrong but it was right and it was so bad and yet soooo good. Harry ran his hands down James's strong, bare back, through his hair and across his ass.

Carefully, he wormed his way out of James's arms. He crawled down the bed and stroked his father's strong thighs. He gently pushed the older man's legs apart and licked up his gorgeous shaft. James let out a moan in his sleep.

Harry chuckled. He gave his father's balls a gentle squeeze, and sucked his length into his mouth. His tongue danced around it as James bucked his hips, forcing himself deeper in to Harry's mouth. Harry couldn't help but gag, he had never sucked anyone off before and he couldn't deep throat.

James slowly woke up as Harry sucked harder, enthusiastically bobbing up and down on his father's dick. Harry smirked as he tasted pre-come and let out a moan which sent vibrations up his shaft. He massaged his thighs and James entangled his hand in Harry's hair, forcing him to go faster. He surrendered completely to his father's hand, letting him slam Harry's face in to his groin over and over again.

James was panting by now, wide awake and so close, all it took was a second little moan of Harrys and he came with a muttered "fuck.

"good morning daddy." Harry said, crawling up the bed and placing his head on his father's chest.

"God your fucking amazing" James moaned, nuzzling his face in to his sons hair. Harry chuckled, and said; "why thank you. I learnt from the best." James shifted and smiled as he felt Harry's own erection brush against his hip.

"need a hand with that baby?" Harry blushed prettily and nodded. He never had a great stamina, often getting off way before James, and this time he had got so in to sucking off his father he was really close, pre-come covering his belly and James's waist.

James had to do nothing more than grind his hip in to Harry, who let out the most delicious moans of pleasure and desperately rutted back. After a few seconds Harry came too, mewling in to James's ear.

James chuckled and Harry joined in, although he didn't know what at. But after a moment James raised himself up on his elbows and tucked a piece of hair behind Harry's ear. "Unfortunately, I do have to go to work. Can't stay in this little heaven forever. And thank you for such a lovly little wake up. You're very talented."

Harry beamed at him."cosmo says that the number one way to treat your man right is to give him a blow job every day before he leaves for work."

"if that's the kind of advice they give I am defiantly buying that magazine for you more often." James rolled out of bed and started to get dressed as Harry happily watched him.

When he was fully clad in his ministry robes, he bent over the bed and kissed Harry. He meant it to be swift and chaste but Harry quickly opened his mouth and James couldn't resist running his tongue between those perfect lips.

Finally he pulled back and said; "damit baby, what are you doing to me? It's only been a minute and I want you again"

Harry giggled. "go to work dad."

"fine." James said playfully. "I'll see you tonight kiddo."

"bye dad! Oh and there's a sandwich in the fridge if you want it."

God his son was perfect.

That was about the only thought he had all day and when he came back home, he was defiantly in the mood.

When Harry greeted him with his usual hug, James didn't even both to hug back, instead he scooped him up in his arms and bought him in to the living room, dumping him on the couch. He stood over him, arms folded and a look of mock annoyance on his face.

"Now Harry. I think you've been a bit of a bad boy. All though work today you were the only thing I could think about. I didn't get anything done."

"Really daddy?" Harry said, "maybe I shouldn't kiss you like that on work days?" Harry teased

"don't you dare." James shot back. "now you have two options, either you can say you're sorry by giving me another one of your amazing blowjobs or, I can give you a spanking." That was the option James really wanted, but he needed to know Harry was okay with it they had never done anything like that before.

"Oh I think a spanking, defiantly. Who said I saw sorry?" Harry said, his eyes sparkling. "right, that's it young man." James mocked, he smoothly removed Harrys pants and lay him across his lap, little bottom proudly in the air.

"Now I want you to stay still for this baby." He gently rubbed Harry's bum, before bringing his hand down hard, there was a satisfying _smack_ and Harry's smooth bum jiggled enticingly, just enough to make James do it again and again. He had been hard all day, and Harry's prick was at attention too, digging into his thigh.

"Dad I am _so_ close." He panted. Not only was the spanking possibly one of the hottest things Harry had ever done, but it made his dick rub against the course fabric of James's robes and that just made it all the better.

James smirked, he loved how little it took to get Harry off, it stroked his ego immensely that his boy got off for him in seconds.

James roughly grabbed Harry by the hips and sat him upright on his lap. He vanished his robes and grasped their penises together, his own dwarfing Harry's and he roughly jerked them off. Harry came so hard it sprayed up his chest and covered his nipples.

The sight hurled James over the edge and he climaxed licking Harry's chest clean. They collapsed into each other, exhausted.

Harry looked at his lap and sighed. "I'm sorry I'm not as big as you dad."

James chuckled. Harry had nothing to be sorry for, it was just another thing he ego loved. "it's okay baby. And anyways that sort of thing really only matters if you plan on penetrating someone, and you don't." Harry nodded happily

"no, my daddy mounts me, that's the way it works." He kissed James softly and then added as an afterthought; "and besides, I'm still a growing boy."

Do you like? If I update again it will be a much more emotional chapter, unless you want other wise?


	4. Chapter 4

_So, I know its been ages, it really has been too long and I want to send a huge thank you out to everyone who has reviewed/favorited this. It really helped! _

_But I think I might actually have a plot for this. Still lots of smut, but if you guys like this one ill be putting up a few more. _

_Also please note I deleted the other fourth chapter. Because it sucked. _

_Note; this is by far the most fucked up thing I've ever written and that includes __Sold to the Devil. __Enjoy _

"That was amazing sweetie." James said as he slid out of Harry and collapsed next to him. He knew Harry hadn't been particularly in the mood, but he had done it anyway, for James. " I have something for you." He said causally. He reached under the bed and pulled out a pink box filled with tissue paper that was even more garishly pink. He slid it over to Harry, who accepted it eagerly, he pulled the top off and- "wow" he said. He picked up the thong -really it wasn't more than a few pieces of string- and watched as it shone in the light. It was metallic gold and ornately, almost impossibly so for its size, embroidered. He looked back in the box and saw a matching garter and sheer black stockings.

"I saw them today and I couldn't help but think of you." James said, running his hand though his son's hair. "Awww your so sweet, thanks dad!" Harry pulled his dad into a tight hug, genuinely thrilled that his father was so attentive to him. So thoughtful.

And James smirked over his sons shoulder. Yes, he wasn't doing anything wrong with this little…experiment.

It had started a month or so ago. Well, James mused, he guessed it had started the moment Harry was born. It was very simple, he was rewarding Harry's good behavior and punishing the bad. But that is what all parents did, more or less, it's even what Hogwarts did with the points system. All James was doing was taking it one step further- into their bed room. Harry had not really wanted to have sex, but did any way, and was so rewarded.

James had to hold back a chuckle though. At first the rewards were actually for Harry's benefit, things he would enjoy, but he had gradually moved away from that and was now purely rewarding him with things James wanted him to have anyway. "you did something to make me happy! As a thank you, here is something to make me happy."It felt naughty and a bit sly, like the pranks he used to play at school, but he honestly couldn't see anything wrong with that. He loved Harry more than anything else in the world and what he was doing felt harmless, even natural, he was Harry's father, it was his duty to rear him properly. To subtly guide him towards the best of everything.

Yeah it was an expensive method.

But the results…. Harry was utterly committed to James, his father was his world, he almost never went outside, unless it was to do the shopping. James's happiness was the most important thing in his life.

In fact it was pretty much the only thing in Harry's life. He had abandoned some things when he has James became a couple, if that was the right word, and other things James had subtly steered him away from, believing that they were not good for him.

_He was bred to do this_. James thought suddenly. He couldn't help himself from loving that thought, that he had created a perfect being and now the perfect being was committed to his pleasure. It felt like karma. He kissed Harry's neck gently and felt himself start to grow hard.

Harry giggled. "again? Already?" "I can't help but imagine you in that outfit." James said between kisses. "can you blame me for getting hard?" James playfully pushed Harry back on the bed and was about to kiss him again when Harry let out a hiss. "ow I'm sore, I'm not sure if I can do this again, you were very enthusiastic just now." Harry said, half serious, half teasing.

For a moment the look of hurt was genuine on James's face._ Damit Harry_, James thought_, that was a pretty major step back, probably negating the effects of the gift, and it had been so expensive too. _

But he didn't say that, instead he went for the negative reinforcement. "Harry, you said you would tell me if I was being too rough." "oh" Harry said "well, you weren't being that bad."

But James sat up, knowing how much Harry didn't like it when he was angry at him. It was a shame, but lessons had to be learnt. "Harry you promised. You know I hate to think I'm hurting you, I cant believe you didn't tell me-"

"oh, no, no, you didn't hurt me! I'm sorry daddy." He bit his lip and looked so repentant that James almost gave in. But that wouldn't be good parenting, once he said something he should stick to it. Kids had to learn who made the rules.

So James just shook his head and walked out the door, saying; "It's okay, I'm just very disappointed in you Harry. I'm going to go and get some work done."

Harry groaned and sunk into the bed, regretting saying anything. They had been having such a nice night up till then and he seemed so ungrateful for the lovely gift. He swore he would do better next time, and eventually managed to fall asleep sad and lonely.

The negative reinforcement was a lot less fun for them both.

However, it was effective. James remembered one of the first times he had used it. It was the middle of summer, boiling out and the plants wilting. He had come home and Harry was laid out, topless, and finishing off the last of the ice cream. When asked, he looked a bit sheepish and said he had eaten an entire pint! Which was bad not only for Harry's figure (important) but his health (more important). So, after a few moments of idle chit chat James casually said; "do you need more clothes?" "umm, no." Harry said. "I don't think so, why?" "Oh, it just looks like those jeans are a little too tight on you. What is it you kids call it today? A muffin top?"

Harry's face fell and James couldn't help but chuckle, reaching out to hold him. "aww its okay baby I'll love you even when your fat."

James never saw him eat ice cream again.

He smirked to himself as he entered his study. Harry was not allowed in here, and had been taught this rule very harshly. It was because this is where he kept Harry's supplies, the gifts and things, and a few tools that he hadn't yet used but hoped to, a blind fold for example. Harry was still too scared to use bondage stuff since the end of the war, but James felt it was very important for Harry to move on and begin to feel safe again. He hated that he sometimes didn't feel protected in his own home and would do anything to change that.

He really did love Harry. How couldn't he? The boy was perfect, was his, was divine. He just needed a few adjustments and then they could settle down with the training. Maybe have a refresher every now and again.

But overall he truly felt there was no one better in the whole world and every time Harry's face lit up with a smile, so did his whole being.

It is a curious path James wondered down and if anything, pity should be felt for him. He who loved his son too much, and trying to be the perfect lover and father both, failed at each. He was lost in a world where two entirely opposite things were demanded of him, and instead of seeing the impossibility of the contradiction, he tried to do everything, and achieved neither. It did indeed start in a place of mutual love, of two people honoring each other and just wanting to be together. It couldn't stay there.

Much later, he crawled in to bed next to his lover and gathered him in his arms, making sure not to wake the sleeping boy.

He still felt guilty, and unsure, and afraid he would be caught, but he was so happy. There was no doubt Harry was too, and he was so grateful that he could be the one to make him be so. With every passing day, James felt more and more sure that what he was doing was right. They were in love and Harry was becoming something even more amazing than he already was.

The next morning was a Saturday and they woke up slowly, kissing and caressing each other into consciousness. Harry nibbled on his ear in that way he just loved and he let out a low growl. He pushed him back and Harry giggled as his head hit the pillow. James kissed his nose playfully and worked his way down to his jaw, his chest, his hip bones before coming achingly close to his erection- and then withdrawing "tease" harry accused, giving James his best pout.

"that was nothing." James bragged. "I'll show you a tease, squirt."

"what did you just call me? Squirt?" Harry said, pretending to be offended. "I'll make _you_ squirt" he mocked back, throwing a wink his father's way. They laughed and James pounced on his son again, pinching his nipples and loving the sound Harry made. Harry lost himself in the sensation and soon they were rolling all over the bed, Harry's legs wrapped around his father and frotting madly against him.

They were not in the mood to take it slow and soon James had Harry on all fours. He slid his first finger in him and Harry arched his back, encouraging the digit deeper. James smiled and slowly circled the figure around inside of him. All the while, Harry was gasping and moaning and he subconsciously spread his legs even further, every part of his body gagging for his father's cock. In desperation he fucked himself onto the finger, but it wasn't anywhere near enough, and he whimpered in frustration. James toyed with Harry mercilessly, finding it almost amusing to see his son in such a state. He was not as lost in rapture and from this vantage point could see how wild and almost pathetic Harry looked. Needy and animalistic for something James had utter control over.

Just as Harry was starting to think he couldn't stand it any longer, James arranged himself at Harry's entrance, brushing the tip against it. Harry bucked back- or at least tried too. James was far stronger and held his hips where they were. Just for a moment anyway, just enough for Harry to mewl with frustration and a dribble of precome to fall on the sheets.

And then he was being fucked, roughly and harshly. But he loved it, it was the relief he had been aching for. Vaguely he desired more contact with his father, usually he bent over him so they were both on all fours and he would kiss his neck, but this not this time. This time James simply stayed on his knees, back straight so he was looking down at his pretty little son, whose whole body was being hurled forward with every thrust.

It didn't take Harry long to come, it never took him long to come. James was a little while after, each trust savage despite the fact Harry could derive no more pleasure from it.

When they were both done, Harry fell forward, laying exhausted on his stomach. After a pause to get his breath back, Harry smiled up at his father, with his legs still spread wide and James's cum leaking out of him.

"God that was amazing." And then, with a smile on his face; "so, shall I make breakfast?"

James smirked and roughly smacked his arse, blowing a kiss to make it look playful.

"pancakes." He said and Harry smiled as if it were a decleration of love and scrambled out of bed. James felt a bubble of pride as he watched Harry walk naked out of the room, a red hand print still on his buttock.

He had trained his son well.


	5. Chapter 5

_God its been a long time. But, for now, im back. Hey guys….i've got no idea if anyone is still reading this but I rather hope you are…it's fucked up fun to write. _

_Its true that there are pretty massive flaws. Where ARE Remus and Serious? I think they are dead. Yeah their dead. Unless I bring them back later in which case they are not. Helpful? _

_Also I know this one is very….physiological? I don't know how to describe it. But if you want to tell me what you think, id love it._

Months passed more or less in the same way. Harry's 'training' continued, with slow but constant progress towards James idea of 'perfection'. In truth, harry didn't have much of a life, his Hogwarts days seemed like little more than a dream sometimes. But he was safe, and he was happy. At this precise moment he was doing a bit of deep cleaning. There wasn't much else for him to do, and the idea of going outside didn't even occur to him. Besides, he had never really been in their basement before, and he was finding it surprisingly interesting. There were old books, and half lost puzzles, used paintbrushes and even what could have been a pizza oven at one point, but he couldn't be sure.

He lazily shifted though the mess, vaguely sorting it in to piles of what he wanted to keep and what he would throw away. There wasn't much he wanted to keep. Eventually, he had cleared a solid amount and was able to move though the room without tripping over anything. There was a door that he had been interested in, the basement was a copy of the house about it, so harry knew that there couldn't be a room facing in that direction.

It turned out to be a closest, filled with garment bags, covered in dust and hanging almost as if they had been waiting for someone to find it. Tentatively, Harry reached out to one and slowly pulled down the zip.

It was a wedding gown.

There was no question as to who once wore it. It was simple, and yet elegant. It was a sheath of silk, very straight, only slightly widening at the bottom so that she would have had a small train behind her. The neckline and sleeves were made out the most delicate lace Harry had ever seen. There was a small, glittering broach at the waist, but apart from that, the gown was gracefully understated. In other words it oozed a class and femininity that Harry knew with a sudden jolt would never, ever be his.

He began to shake, knowledge hitting him as if he had never completely comprehended it before. James had been _married_. He was a _widower_. He had loved someone enough to commit to them for life, to have a child with that bitch. Somehow, harry had been able to avoid that information up till now. But evidence to the contrary was now staring him in the face. He slammed the door as hard as he could but it bounced back open, as if in defiance of him. So he ripped the dress from its hanger and stalked up stairs with it. For one wild moment he wondered if he could wear it, but no, never. The sleeves were tiny, his mother must have had rake thin arms and a waspish waist to match.

He threw himself on the couch and the dress on the ground before him. He was pissed. He was still shaking and now his breathing was harsh. He hated that dress more than he could possibly express. It was a threat him, an unalterable fact that he was not and never would be the first in his father's life. "fuck" he breathe. He stalked in to the kitchen and hysterically grabbed a pair of siccors. Walking back to the dress he looked tragically clichéd.

To his delight, he found that he did not actually have to snip at the silk. He made one small cut and then simply pushed the blades forward, the fabric parting smoothly. He cut all the way up the middle of the dress. He took the sleeves off. He balled them up and used them as rags to clean the dishes. He slashed the body of the gown to ribbons, but in the end, when he felt he had mutilated it enough for one day, he simply left it there. He realized he wanted his father to know.

When James did come back Harry, as always met him with a hug at the door, this time kissing him hungrily. "Dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes dad. There's a whisky in the living room in the meantime." "Thanks kiddo" he said, giving Harry's bum a quick pat before heading for his drink.

Of course, he couldn't miss the mess. There were wisps of white fabric everywhere and though mostly destroyed, the dress still caught the light beautifully. He recognized it instantly.

The first thought he had was to wonder if Harry was okay. Immediately after, he let out a sigh of relief. Seeing Lilly's wedding dress in tatters and first thinking of Harry- if he ever needed proof that Harry was truly first in his heart and mind then that was it. And now that he could admit it to himself, he had been wondering about that. Calmly, he picked up his glass and sipped it, not taking his eyes off the dress. For a long moment he thought. Lilly was long gone. He, of course still had feelings for her. They did get married and have a kid after all. But, what was the point in letting Harry know that? It would do nothing but torment him, and James truly couldn't bear the thought of hurting his darling.

"Hey Harry." He called out. "Can you come here a sec?" "Sure dad…" Came the slightly tentative answer. Harry walked in, hoping he wasn't in trouble, all passion now gone and replaced by a the guilt of a child whose stolen sweets. James smiled to put him out of his misery. He reached out and stroked Harry's cheek, smiling at the fine stubble under his figures.

"Dad…" Harry said softly. "I don't want to talk about it. At least, not now."

"What ever you want baby." James said, kissing him softly. He lead Harry over to the coffee table that carried Lilly's dress and turned him towards it, positioning himself behind Harry. He kissed down his neck as he slyly undid the button on Harry's jeans. Harry's soft moan covered the sound of the zip, but other than that the world was deathly quiet. Harry was already stiff when James reverently pulled his member out of the soft confines of his boxers. He stroked him; a feather light touch at first, there was no need to rush after all, this time it was purely about Harry's pleasure.

Harry moaned and snaked his hips, trying to get his father involved. But no, ever so gently James moved his waist back, he didn't want to be distracting from pleasing Harry. But the kissing continued, he sucked and bit at Harry's neck, basking in the marks he left behind. Harry was writhing now, and James's strokes on his cock got faster and more rugged, Harry began to pant, he shut his eyes and let his other senses take control, the familiar tightening in his groin filing him, letting him know he was oh so close.

He whimpered and bit his lip as the feeling consumed him and he came with a yell. He opened his eyes just in time to see his own cum splashing on to his mother's wedding gown. Both men watched as Harry's seed soaked in to _Her_ fabric. Harry smiled.

James slowly turned Harry around kissed him. " I cared about your mother a great deal, but we should never have been married. By the time she….died" -And there was a flicker of genuine sorrow in both of them when he said that-" we were having some serious issues. She was too demanding for me, too wild and assertive." James took a deep breath, daring to take Harry's training one step further. " I know you would never be like that Harry, and that's why I love you. You make me so happy…you're so sweet, so quick to please me " At this perverse complement, Harry beamed. "You're mine, and no one else's."

"Thanks dad" Harry whispered.

"Now go get dinner" James ordered- playfully. He sat down on the couch and smirked, feeling it was almost too easy. He didn't care that he had lied about his relationship with Lilly- they had in fact been very happy until the very end- it was a tool to be used, to make his beautiful son truly perfect.

Harry's cooking was perhaps not as good as usual, but he had been distracted by _Her_ all day. They both understood.

The conversation that night was oddly somber, but when they got in to bed, Harry quickly remembered that while he had been pleased that night, his father had not. He stroked the man's strong thighs and purred in to his ear. James smiled and wrapped his arms around his boy, kissing him hungrily. "God your beautiful" He moaned. Harry smiled at that and ran his hands though the sheets, reaching for the other man's cock- he was not in a patent mood. It grew hard in his hand and Harry gave James's balls the slightest squeeze.

James groaned and drew Harry under him, Harry's face in Jam's sweaty chest. He let his hands run over his father's buttocks, loving the strong muscles even there. James rutted into Harry's palm and raised himself only slightly so he could reach his hand in-between Harry's legs and, with a quick lubrication charm, shoved a figure up him. He trust in and out, in and out and didn't waste any time adding a second then third. "Feel good?" He panted. "Yeah- I'm ready." Harry moaned back. James kicked Harry's legs wider apart and pressed his cock inside his son. Harry moaned as he felt the length stretch him that one last bit, and grunted as James thrust hard.

James set a frenzied pace, he let his weight fall off of his arms and on to Harry. Harry grunted again, his father's body effectively pressing the air out of his lungs, with each thrust back, he was allowed to inhale and each thrust forward he was made to exhale.

But James didn't notice, he only knew the pleasure of the tight walls around his hard cock and Harry's smaller but dripping cock pressing against both their stomachs. He et out a moaned "fuck" as he moved even faster, for once his own orgasm coming on as fast as Harry's.

He pinched Harry's little nipple in an attempt to get his son off first and save himself some pride. He yanked on it and lowered his mouth to the other one, and Harry came with a muffled; "yes!" James came moments after, grunting and plowing in to Harry with enough force to ram Harry into the head board.

After a moment, James pulled out of Harry and they just lay staring in to each other's eyes.

"I love you." Harry said finally.

"I love you too." James smiled, taking Harry's hand. "Sleep well, my precious." He turned away from Harry, and Harry as he normally did, spooned his father's back. It didn't take long for the older man to drop in to his dreams, but Harry lay awake.

He turned away from his father, to face the moon hanging outside the window. He still wasn't breathing properly. He bit his lip and closed his eyes and let himself recognize one hard truth; he would never be the best lover in his father's life. No matter how much sex they had, _She_ would always be there, a ghost, a glamorous, beautiful and sophisticated ghost. A woman who, even dead was more than Harry could be. Strong, smart, sexy. He really was just a common whore next to her.

With a pang that seemed to reverberate through his body, Harry realized that right now, what he wanted more than anything was to climb in to his father's bed, like he used to when he was five and had a nightmare. When James used to just stroke his hair and the only kiss was a chaste peck on the forehead. He had made Harry feel so safe, so wonderfully safe.

But, of course, he was already there. Dejected, but there. Tentatively, he rolled over and watched his father's back slowly rise and fall, breathing even. After a moment, he got up and crept out the door, silently making his way back into the basement.

He went back to the closet. He was hyper aware of everything now, it was no longer an innocent door, that might hold some novel but basically uninteresting items. It was a gateway to what remained of her. It was a white door, with peeling paint and the smell of mold, it gave no trace to what glamour ay inside of it. He slowly turned the brass handle and cracked the door open.

He was not surprised when the other dresses, so well preserved, were just as beautiful as the wedding gown. There was a beautiful, cranberry velvet one. It was floor length, and had tiney gold buttons at the back, it was, again, so beautifully understated that Harry wanted to cry. This was not the most beautiful dress in the world, but in it, Lilly would have doubtlessly looked the most beautiful woman in the world.

And they were all that good. The little black dresses, the conservative yet flirty summer ensembles, the stunning ball gowns…

With each one that he opened, he became more and more aware of his place in the family. He would never be her. Never be even like her. He closed his eyes and saw how he must look with his father. Spreading himself for him, sucking him hungrily, waiting on him hand and foot, whimpering on all fours while he got fucked, bending over whenever James wanted.

He replaced the last one back on the hanger. He closed his eyes and shut the door with a soft click, leaning his forehead on it with a small sigh. He turned his cheek to the cool wood of the door and stood there for a moment.

Somewhere, a part of him wanted to be just like his mum. For a moment he envisioned what it would be like if she were alive. Something he hadn't done in years, since before Hogwarts even. But now he saw them shopping together, taking about him having a normal boyfriend, a normal life, her teaching him things, talking, laughing together over a terribly sophisticated drink in a glamorous bar- in the south of France maybe. America even, New York or L.A… he felt sure she had been to all those places.

But as Harry pulled away from the door he pulled away from her too. He could not allow _Her_ to come between them. Not now, not after…everything. Not now his dad was all he had. So he threw away all thoughts of his own glamour, or even beauty. He had, unknowingly cast himself in a role, and there was no room for him to change now. He was a whore and a maid. He had no doubt his father really did love him, but for the first time Harry wondered if it was because of who he was, or the excellent service that he provided James with.

He loved his father. He would not give him up.


End file.
